My friend and I were having one of those conversations that seem more prevalent with each passing year. We were running through a list of relatively dramatic changes over the last couple of years.
Maybe you’ve had your own version of this discussion. Ours covered a broad spectrum, from changes in football rules to the degree that public discourse and debate have devolved.
I imagine, had anyone been interested in eavesdropping, we sounded dangerously similar to a couple of grumpy baby boomers.
A few days later I had an interaction that made me wonder why we rarely talk about the things in our life that will likely never change.
I had reached out to a vendor’s online customer service, and was using the web chat utility that is so good it can lull you into feeling like you’re talking to a human being. But in this case my issue was outside the scope of the AI’s knowledge base. If you’ve experienced this you may know what happened. The AI continued to try to provide help with a series of irrelevant suggestions.
I don’t resent the use of technology. Far from it. I use various AI tools every day. But the experience made me realize one thing that will never change is the value of real human connection.
We take it for granted, don’t work at it near hard enough and regularly fail in the practice. But when I really need to feel connected, I want to engage with a person.
Sure, my favorite AI knows how to subtly stroke my ego. And I’ll admit to having felt a measure of affirmation when an algorithm complimented an idea or work product.
But come on. It was a far cry from interacting with a human being.
In general I embrace innovation. It can be envigorating. And it almost always brings new opportunities.
But it doesn’t come with a heartbeat.
Things of Constant Value
In the context of a real connection a human being can listen between the lineswhere there are always hints of things unspoken.
You can look into another person’s eyes and read sincerity. Or frustration. Or anger.
A nod of the head, a furrowed brow, a knowing smile, even the emotional crack in a voice — these are as much a part of human interactions as the words we use.
Even in our clumsiest attempts, the mere act of genuinely trying to understand where another is coming from in itself communicates volumes.
And builds a bridge that often takes up the slack brought on by our bumbling efforts.
A human being is able to recognize shades of grey, and understand that complexities are rarely limited to black and white (or ones and zeros).
At its best, human connection accommodates the extreme ends of a spectrum — doubt and faith, hope and fear, noise and silence. It can be ordered or chaotic.
It is often made up of round pegs and square holes. And it can be messy.
But it is one hundred percent human. And, in spite of how bad we can mess it up, when the effort is sincere it works an amazing amount of the time.
Things That Endure
Don’t get me wrong. I will take help wherever I can get it, including from the seemingly faster-than-the-speed-of-light changes AI is bringing. But while we’re marveling or bemoaning, it might serve us to focus a bit on a constant: the dynamism of human connection.
So anyone wistfully longing for a bit of stability as a new year begins…anyone who might be wondering about their place in a changing marketplace…here’s the suggestion: become obsessed with creating extraordinary human connections.
Become a specialist in listening. Focus on bringing value to each encounter (which means making the encounter about them, not you!).
Nurture trust. Distribute kindness. And treat others the way you would like for them to treat you.
This is the essence of human connection. The value is a constant. And it will differentiate you in most any endeavor.